So, this past weekend I asked my husband to move out. Not because I was angry. Not because I don't love him. Instead it was because his decisions were putting our family unit in jeopardy. By this I mean that he was making decisions with himself and my kids that could have devastating consequences. I could not and would not condone or enable that. So, no fussing, no fighting, I just asked him to pack and go. He did.
In his condition he said some very hurtful things to me. I listened, but God truly tempered my response and I didn't lash back with hurtful words to him. I am not bragging - I am not at all perfect (not even close), but I had enough of God in me from feeding and building over these last few months that I knew that what I said to my kids ("be kind to others", "treat others better than you want to be treated", etc) had to be lived out at some point ;o). This was that point.
I am a nurturer by nature. I direct things and situations very well (*cough*cough*). I know in my heart if people would just listen to me (uhh, okay - yeah - right) then things could be so much more simple. 90% of issues between friends, family, etc. stems from poor communication (listening - even more- than talking). I like to "fix" things.
Well, nothing to bring you to your knees (literally) before God than to have a marital/family crisis. Nothing like having those very things start going wrong inside my nuclear family.
I have never been so delusional as to believe that we, as a married couple/family unit, were perfect. No - not at all. But I really did think that as a couple we had already had "our share"(of issues) so to speak - early on in our marriage. Evidently not. There are still things God wants to work out in me, and in us, that require some more 'firing'.
I don't like it, but I do appreciate the knowledge that the 'end result' will be far more than I could have hoped for or imagined if I remain focused on Him.
All this DESPITE what others around me are doing - It doesn't matter!!! I am not responsible for them and they are not responsible for me. I have to give an account one day and I have to be able to look at Christ and know that in my heart I meant well and tried my best to lead others to Him. But really? It all comes back to being 'with Him' and Him providing His grace!
1 comment:
You are already using this for God's glory =). It spoke to me in my own family situations.. lack of communication hit that one on the head. We are accountable for our hearts but must love you are right. I heard my hubby telling Joshua before bed. We are to love people no matter what.. he added unconditionally. That is how Jesus loves us.. we can love and we all do but is it like Jesus ??? Really got me to thinking.. unconditionally...witout conditions or situations.. I am working on that one..that is my prayer this week and one I am seeking God on...Anyway.. that is my random thoughts.
Love you soooooo much. Want to see you soon ok =)
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