One thing I am continuing to learn in my life is that changes can be good. As a child of divorce - and lots of chaos in my family life for many years growing up- change was not something I was fond of. I would say I loathed change that I was not in charge of. I remember one time coming home from camp and my mom and grandparents had completely "cleaned" my room. By this I mean ALL stuffed animals, papers, nicknack's, etc were gone. My head probably did a 360 on my body I was so angry. Until that day I don't think anyone - especially my mom and grandparents - had ever seen me that angry. I was uncontrollable and inconsolable. Nothing could be done - it was all gone. I felt very powerless.
There have been other moments in my life that have been similar - times that I have had no control over people and situations and have really not handled it well - or just tried to avoid it all together. Neither is healthy. I am happy to report I do understand a parent's need to "clean" a room when a child is gone, but I warn my kids before I do and let them "salvage" what they consider really significant to them - within reason. That is not to say that I have not messed up too and gotten rid of things that were important to them without me really understanding, but I am trying. Also, I now know that while changes are not always comfortable - my attitude makes a HUGE difference. So, I try and focus on the positive in whatever is happening. This can be annoying at times - and at others, even I don't believe me - but I keep on until I do.
So - with this newest change occurring inside and out I am happy to report that while the process has been extremely painful at times - it is proving to be worth it. Whether I am talking about parenting, or salvaging my marriage, or working on me. I have been stretched more, strengthened more and grown more through these past 16 months than I have in a looooong time. ESPECIALLY in my relationship with Christ. This is a happy day. Not only do I have a freedom inside that I didn't have a year and a half ago, but I have a strength - based in the knowledge of who God is - that is like nothing I have ever had before.
I am even beginning to LOOK different. What is really funny to me personally is when I sit my hands on my hips I can actually tell my hips are smaller! It really makes me grin to myself. I look silly, but I do it.
I have a plan. A plan for my family, myself, and this upcoming semester for small groups at church. Unfortunately it won't be the one starting in September, but prayerfully the one beginning in January.
I pray all is fabulous with you and yours - Keep on Keepin' On!!!
As a side note - My husband and I did my measurements on the 15th - just a few days ago - again - I have had amazing (for me) results: 10 inches total, gone from my body in the last month -- that is including neck, chest, biceps, hips, thighs, calves, and waist. So a grand total of 26 inches in about 9 weeks - or 9 1/2 weeks. My weight loss is 17.8 pounds so far.
I do tend to just get off the scale and right back on - or go to various scales in my office and home to see if what I see is true - and it is. I am just so in shock. I am wearing the jeans I told you about last entry. Still love them. I am thankful for all that has been taken away from me - literally - and give God complete and total glory. Without His strength and promises and mercy I would not still be on this road.
In His Love.
