Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Changes Can Be Positive!!

One thing I am continuing to learn in my life is that changes can be good.  As a child of divorce - and lots of chaos in my family life for many years growing up- change was not something I was fond of.  I would say I loathed change that I was not in charge of.  I remember one time coming home from camp and my mom and grandparents had completely "cleaned" my room.  By this I mean ALL stuffed animals, papers, nicknack's, etc were gone.  My head probably did a 360 on my body I was so angry.  Until that day I don't think anyone - especially my mom and grandparents - had ever seen me that angry.  I was uncontrollable and inconsolable.  Nothing could be done - it was all gone.  I felt very powerless.
There have been other moments in my life that have been similar - times that I have had no control over people and situations and have really not handled it well - or just tried to avoid it all together.  Neither is healthy.  I am happy to report I do understand a parent's need to "clean" a room when a child is gone, but I warn my kids before I do and let them "salvage" what they consider really significant to them - within reason.  That is not to say that I have not messed up too and gotten rid of things that were important to them without me really understanding, but I am trying.  Also, I now know that while changes are not always comfortable - my attitude makes a HUGE difference.  So, I try and focus on the positive in whatever is happening.  This can be annoying at times - and at others, even I don't believe me - but I keep on until I do.
So - with this newest change occurring inside and out I am happy to report that while the process has been extremely painful at times - it is proving to be worth it.  Whether I am talking about parenting, or salvaging my marriage, or working on me.  I have been stretched more, strengthened more and grown more through these past 16 months than I have in a looooong time.  ESPECIALLY in my relationship with Christ.  This is a happy day.  Not only do I have a freedom inside that I didn't have  a year and a half ago, but I have a strength - based in the knowledge of who God is - that is like nothing I have ever had before. 
I am even beginning to LOOK different.  What is really funny to me personally is when I sit my hands on my hips I can actually tell my hips are smaller!  It really makes me grin to myself.  I look silly, but I do it.
I have a plan.  A plan for my family, myself, and this upcoming semester for small groups at church.  Unfortunately it won't be the one starting in September, but prayerfully the one beginning in January. 
I pray all is fabulous with you and yours - Keep on Keepin' On!!!

As a side note - My husband and I did my measurements on the 15th - just a few days ago - again - I have had amazing (for me) results:  10 inches total, gone from my body in the last month -- that is including neck, chest, biceps, hips, thighs, calves, and waist.  So a grand total of 26 inches in about 9 weeks - or 9 1/2 weeks.  My weight loss is 17.8 pounds so far. 
I do tend to just get off the scale and right back on  - or go to various scales in my office and home to see if what I see is true - and it is.  I am just so in shock.  I am wearing the jeans I told you about last entry.  Still love them.  I am thankful for all that has been taken away from me - literally - and give God complete and total glory.  Without His strength and promises and mercy I would not still be on this road. 

In His Love.