Okay. I am closing in on nine weeks of this 'change of life' I have embarked on. I don't know that I have an "end date" in mind. I do, however, have an "end weight" in mind. I have lost 15.8 pounds. I sometimes laugh at me putting the decimal in there, but by George!! I have worked for that eight tenths of a pound and if the scale says it then I am counting it. I did my measurements by myself two times and then got my husband to check behind me on the 15th of last month. Why? Because I just couldn't believe what I was getting out of the tape measure!! Total - over my whole body - both biceps, both calves, both thighs, my waist, hips, neck, bust - I had lost a total of 16 inches! I am not sure who was more shocked...me or ME!!
WOOOHOOOO!!
I love my calorie counting, heart rate monitoring watch from Wally World. It acts to me much like a pedometer does to those motivated by how many steps they take each day. Since I have learned that the more frequently I update my heart rate then the more accurate my overall daily calorie count is of what I have burned then I can better see what I take in verses what I am burning. Would I LOVE to have a Body Bug? Yes. But can I really shell out that kind of money? No.
So, I have gone on a week long - multiple state - vacation. Took my workout stuff to do on the first part - Continued my Tae Bo since I haven't gotten the Zumba tapes. I also did some weight lifting. Just for fun I did my oooooolllllldddddd Leslie Sansome tape of "Walk Away the Pounds". All the kids did this all with me. We had a blast. Then one day we followed it up with a 45 min walk around the neighborhood.
If sweat were pounds I would have already met my goal this summer. Too bad.
After all that - and walking in D.C. and eating good every day - I literally took a step off the wagon by "treating" myself to a hand dipped ice cream cone at Nutters in Maryland. It was soooo good that I decided I "deserved" another. Then that night I ended up eating fried (yes, fried) Nutter Butter cookies - lost count after five, then some spicy pretzels, and on the way home from that trip an apple fritter from Dunkin' Donuts (wanting one even as we speak).
Then came our unexpected trip to the beach. I played hard and "rewarded" myself. I had Ben and Jerry's - two pints in two days - also french fries, ate bread, chips, etc. All this time I sat there telling myself - I will "get back on the wagon"- let me also not forget the double stuf oreos.
Getting on the proverbial wagon has not been so easy. Getting up to exercise has not been as easy - carving out time for myself is not seeming as important- and eating wrong can always be justified. In turn I have become impatient with myself and those around me - out of balance so to speak. I have realized this last week that I had let my time with Jesus lapse- have been spending too much time worrying about food and exercise. Out or order. So, yesterday was a time of confession for me - humbling to say the least. About my attitude, my actions, and lack of time being spent in His presence. It is more and more telling for me - as my issue with food rears its head - and my "old ways" of thinking and doing take back over - it is like I almost push away from God. Of course then I fall - get a big "owie" and come running back to Abba Father. I am so thankful He picks me up every time.
Despite my personal set backs - He has been faithful. I have continued with the exercises - I have counted on what God has promised in His word. "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me", "I have courage in God's presence, because I am sure that he hears me if I ask him for anything that is according to his will- 1 John 5:14(GNT)" "I ARISE! I Shine, for my light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen upon me! Isaiah 60:1" "I humble myself under the mighty hand of God, that He might exalt me in due time... casting all my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. 1 Peter 5:6,7"
So - this weekend I went shopping for back to school clothes with my girls and a friend of ours - Lucy. My girls are 7th grade and 6th grade so our sizes are vastly different. Although my seventh grader's foot is quickly catching up to mine! The stores they wanted to go in were like Buckle, American Eagle, Old Navy, etc. Buckle is too expensive so we compromised with Plato's closet. American Eagle was our second stop - our first - yes - our first was Great American Cookie Company. Can I tell you how long it has been since I have been in there? Anyway - we go in AE and get my daughter some jeans to try to figure out her size - she ends up being a four. Now - hefty girl that I have been - I have hovered back and forth between a 20 and an 18 for the past year. Sometimes - depending on the cut and the day I could squeeze my rear into a 16, but that was oh so rare. Tops are an XL or XXL or 14/16 - again - depending on the store. After this weekend I have determined that either some very unhappy women came up with the sizing for clothes or men did just to see women be driven batty. At Wal-Mart or Target I have to go up a size. At Ann Taylor Loft I could wear a smaller size. At Lane Bryant I could wear a smaller size and at Chico's I could - Cold Water Creek was a toss up - depends on the kind of material. Old Navy runs a little big on me in the tops - they are cut very generously. I love that. Good PR on their part I must add.
So - I was easily talked into trying on a pair of jeans at AE - the boyfriend style - now keep in mind - I have a butt - and low rise on me is not a good combo in a normal situation - now I am adding in a smaller size. So- I was VERY self conscious. Also, please note, I have ALWAYS worn stuff a little bigger than necessary. That comes from the trauma of having large breasts and not knowing how to handle them. So - I put on the jeans - they button and zip and I cannot believe it. Thing is they BARELY cover my butt crack! Literally. One time of sitting down and everyone would know the color of my granny panties. NOPE!!
So - later on we go to Old Navy after some other stores - I am easily - again - persuaded into trying on a pair of jeans - only this time I go back up a size. They have different kinds - DIVA, DREAMER, STELLA, etc. I got a pair of each kind in a 16 and a 14. OH MY GOODNESS!!! $19 and the DREAMER (perfect name for me!) style was PERFECT on me!! Not just perfect - but perfect in length, waist, fit, and number - a 14!! For those of you that are a size 8 naturally you are sitting there going, "I don't get it". Trust me - this is a big deal - I tried really hard for it not to be - but it really is - sort of an outward confirmation of what I thought was happening - what people SAID was happening - but I was having trouble really seeing.
So, my new best friends - even in 100 degree heat - are the size 14 DREAMER jeans from Old Navy. I LOVE THEM!! I have not been in a 14 since before the kids were born. Yep. You heard me - NOT SINCE B.C. - That has been almost 14 years counting pregnancy time.
I have to admit - I feel a bit delusional at times. I look in the mirror on days and can tell my hips are smaller and I have finally started developing biceps. Other days I see the fat girl I have always felt I have always been - or always will be. Then I stand up and pull back out my verses and I KNOW. I KNOW He hears me, He cares even about this - He wants this to be something that is part of my testimony - and I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!!
So - take a little time today - and instead of "rewarding" yourself with cookies, ice cream, etc - go get that cool pair of running shoes, or new work out DVD or work out outfit you have been watching to go on sale. Not only will it benefit you - but when you are tired of it you can pass it on!
Blessings on this journey of life!
