My sweet, seven year old, Tate will be entering the second grade this year. This summer he and his sisters are visiting his older sister and brother in law in WV. They have been having a great time. This week when I spoke with Tate one night he was clearing his throat. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had gotten some fries stuck in his throat. Well, part of Tate's disorder causes nodules to grow in his esophagus and stomach and intestines so I knew what he was feeling wasn't really the fries being stuck in his throat. They were caught lower down, but it was feeling like it was higher up because of the constriction. So, we talked for a little while then I got off the phone and thought about it and called back. I knew he was going to need to go a week on just the Elecare formula. One week may not completely do the trick, but I was praying it would do a lot of good to help calm things down and maybe even stay off the oral steroids.
Well, day one came and he did really good for lunch - he drank his "cup" at the Japanese Steak House they went to, but then came time for supper. On Tuesday nights they always go to Chick-Fil-A for Family Fun Night and 99 cent meals. Tate only is able to eat the fries there - or actually at most places since he isn't allergic to potatoes, but even though he isn't allergic to chicken we don't get it out because sometimes places bread it with egg in the breading or grill with butter - or there is other animal fat products in it - so we just don't chance it. Potatoes it is. He is happy with that and his formula - and a coke from time to time.
He called me before it was time to go. He was asking me to pleeeeeease let him start "no solids" the next day (how many times have I bargained like that?). He "promises" he will just do cups the next day, but really wants to eat the fries at ChickFilA tonight. My heart hurts for him (as I am sure God's does when I whine to him convincingly), but as the parent I have a responsibility to press on even when things may not be comfortable. I listened to Tate, commiserated with him, listened to him cry about not wanting to drink his cup in front of others (ah ha!), and understood his need to "be tough" and "be better" in hopes he could have a different outcome right then. Again, how often does that happen for us all? We "suck it up" in hopes that ignoring our current issue will get us to a believed "better place" right then? Sometimes it is worth it - a lot of times it just compounds future issues and pain.
So, I held firm and stuck to it with Tate. I did my best to help him understand and let him know I understood his concerns, but what I said is for the best even though it is uncomfortable right now.
I do have to admit - had I not recently been depriving my flesh of all things really good lately - cake, ice cream, sweets, candy, etc., and exercising 6 days a week - I probably would have felt "sorry" for his situation right then and let him "start over" the next day. But, really, when we do that-does tomorrow ever come?
So - my baby boy grew up a little on Tuesday - and so did his mom. I am praying against the dread I am beginning to feel in regards to the upcoming second grade school year. The perceived pressure from other children, the questions from parents when your child doesn't eat anything at parties, and the pressure - although meant to be loving - from family and friends that feel there must be SOMETHING that "poor child" can eat! Why does our society revolve around food? Is this just me? Is this just my family? Do I just have a higher sensitivity to it because of weight issues, food allergies, and severe GI issues in my youngest?
I don't know. I do know this is an opportunity for me and my family - and most especially Tate- to find other ways to relate with others besides through food - other ways to celebrate, comfort, mourn, and fellowship.
I can't help but note that if we stop focusing so much on the storm (what is happening around us) and focus on Jesus (look directly at Him and draw near to him - James 4:8a) then everything else sort of fades away - it is all background noise - nothing to really take note of. So, who cares if we walk funny, or have a huge zit on our lip and our lip is twice its size, or we can't eat solid food with our friends and family, or wear the same brands as others? Well - too often we do - but take heart - Jesus knows what we are feeling, wanting, needing, and always is with us - providing for us, giving us comfort, and filling in those lonely spots where we sometimes think friends are "supposed" to be.
I am forever grateful of the past I have been allowed to live through - this has helped prepare me for my future - good and bad - I take heart for me and my children in God's word - Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 8:28 and so very many others. I also know for a fact that Hebrews 13:2 is so very true.
Today, take time to really thank God for your body - for what you have - and even what you don't. Thank him for what you have learned through lean and difficult times, but also the times of blessings poured out on you where you were able to pour out on others - May I ever be found faithful in His sight.
