That is exactly it - Overflowing. I am filled to overflowing - growing ever so much more closely to Christ through my personal trials and battles with flesh. I am so extremely thankful to Christ - for his friendship, his faithfulness, his comfort, his presence. I truly had a wonderful weekend with my family. We all spent time together watching a movie and going to ball games and just hanging out together. My husband and I spent valuable time together, also. Doing much needed talking and reconnecting. Such a great weekend.
But, it is now Tuesday, and despite how I was even "feeling" yesterday, today I am not so overflowing. Fear has stopped the flow. I have moments of the cork letting go some, but then it goes back into the spot and stops it all up again. Prayer, time with God, and music are all helping - but thinking, remembering, and certain tastes and smells - bring the fear raging back and it stops the flow again. I HATE IT!
So, what I am going to continue to do is bury my "roots" into Him and wait for His nourishment to fill and sustain me - to the point there is no longer room for fear in my life! Not because things around me are going my way or there are no troubles in my immediate life - but because He is in me - His nourishment is stabilizing me - and soon I have enough to share with others - because I am overflowing!
Lord, please fill me up. Stabilize me so I can be a stabilizing influence on my children and family. Give me peace that I may grow despite my circumstances. Strength so that I can make the difficult and uncomfortable decisions when needed - despite what others may think of me. Love, so that I can share it with all around me. Lord, help me not allow fear to overrun my life and snuff out everything that is good. Thank you, Jesus. I love you.