Okay - There is so much rumbling around in my head I couldn't wait to get it all out so this post may be even a little more scattered than others (if that is possible).
First, let me tell you I have continued on this looooong pursuit of fitness.  I often get off track with my eating - I treat myself too often to foods lacking in any nutritional value and consider it a "treat".  I am not sure what the origin of that is for me - maybe that those things "off limits" are somehow better - but what do I FREQUENTLY tell my kids? If I tell you "no" there is a REALLY good reason and it almost always has to do with your safety and well being.  Same for me with foods, etc.  Only, in my mid thirties I am just now understanding this.
Now, don't misunderstand and think I am now some health food junkie - cause I am not.  I am inherently going to look for the easiest route possible to any end I am wanting and usually I lose some nutrition in that trade off - so in the micro-changes I am making - I am watching portions, adding a fruit (or two) and making sure I at LEAST stay at my calorie limit five out of seven days.  I have been reminded SO OFTEN this is a marathon - not a sprint.  For me this is not a great analogy since even considering a sprint makes me think of sighing and sitting down.  BUT, I do not want to give up.
I wrote down on paper my reasons for recommitting my health to God - for him to use me for his kingdom, for me to be more healthy and active and available to my family, and for me just to feel better overall.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT) says "Don't you realize your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.  So you must honor God with your body."   This verse was brought to my attention at the beginning of February along with 1 Corinthians 6:12 "Everything is permissible for me- but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything" (not sweets, tv, lack of discipline, a number on a scale, old mindsets, or the idea of "i can't")
I am very thankful to be in relationship with a God that loves me as I am - knows me inside out - chose me and only has the best in mind for me.  I don't HAVE to do anything.  I WANT to do whatever I can.
So this quest of health is about lifestyle choices - fitness, faith walk, time management, scaling down at home, etc.  It is about having a vision for my life and the life of my family - knowing what God wants of me as a mom, wife, daughter, friend, sister, employee, etc.
Obedience is the first word that keeps coming to mind - just to obey his word.  Submit to His authority in ALL areas and favor will continue to be poured out.
Now, don't misread that last part or misunderstand my heart - I do very much want to be in favor with God but that is not my reason for submitting - my reason for submitting is because trying to do life my way is not working - trying to control the outcomes around me or worry about the 'what-ifs' are enough to drive me over the edge - like the pigs in the New Testament.  I don't want that - and I don't want that for my kids.  I pray my legacy is nothing but the fruits of the spirit.
So - last night I did the really really really unthinkable and had my 14 year old take my "before" pictures.  My goal is to lose at least 15 pounds in 90 days - and inches all over - I just don't know what kind of goal to set for inches.  I just know I want them gone - hahahaha!!
Oh my word.  The pictures were literally an eye opener.  I feel for my poor daughter - I had my shorts and sports bra on, which covered more than most people's bathing suits.  But, after seeing the actual pictures I decided no child should have to endure such a site as that.  Of course there was a lot of laughing - and the best part was when she asked me, "is that what having kids does to your belly button and stomach?" Ummm, yes.  But also years of neglect and overeating and self indulgence, etc.   I think it scared her enough to keep on exercising for herself - hahaha!!
Anyway - once my goals are met and inches lost I am praying I have the nerve to post the before and after pics.  I will just have to wait and see.
I have a chart and I am marking off each day I do exercises - different ones each day- adding in yoga and core work just for giggles (giggles of those watching of course).  I am also being kinder to myself.  So, I didn't get up at 5:30 a.m.  I didn't "fail"  I just have to readjust.  Workout that evening instead - the decision I have to make is can I do that and still do what I need to for my family?  If I start sleeping in and then working out at night instead of doing things for and with my family - that is not in order and things go downhill - so I am learning...Slowly but surely I am learning.
The rest of what I was going to write about can wait for another day - I pray you all have a wonderful Thursday and a great weekend - enjoy your families and God's AMAZING gifts in today!