It Begins in the Small Moments

So many "defining" moments in my life are begun in small, seemingly insignificant choices made daily - by myself or by those around me.  Whether it is that I decide to plan ahead for what I will eat or wear the next day - right down to how I might choose to respond in certain situations should they arise. 
Now, just because I 'decide' these things doesn't necessarily mean they will come to pass.  I will say, though, that it is much better to decide ahead of time for me than to get to that moment and make a "rash" decision.  I usually overextend myself, or over react, or over eat, or am late if I wait til the moment something happens to decide something or how I will respond to something.  Unfortunately I also still have to learn that just because I decide on something - like "how it should go" - and it doesn't go that way- doesn't mean my world is falling apart and doesn't call for a deep, dark 'bout of depression served up on the side.
I KNOW in my heart of hearts that Jesus loves me.  He cares for me (1Peter 5:7) and would even give His life for me (He already did just to prove it!).  So, why do I get all twisted up when plans go awry or things and people get "off track"?  Why must I have these control issues?
I know God has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11)- He teaches me something new from each situation I find myself in(Romans 8:28).  Sometimes those situations are of my own making through my own choices - however good or bad they might have been at the time.  Sometimes I find myself at the mercy of other's choices.  This makes me even more sensitive to my children.  Sometimes that is good - sometimes they can use that to their advantage. LOL!!
Over these past two months I have run the gamut of emotions once again - hurt, anger, love, annoyance, contentment, peace, joy, hope, despair, and despondence.  What I have noticed is that as uncomfortable as I have been with SO MANY of the good and not so good emotions listed here, I have been learning so much about me.  What I want, what I need, what I desire, what I long for.  I have been asking God to show me His will for my life, my children, and my marriage.  That will all come in time.  I take things one day at a time - messing up more often than I should probably in the "need to know" what the future holds, but that doesn't mean He tells me - and guess what!? I have been just fine - a little neurotic at times - but okay thanks to His word, good preaching, and great friends to support me in prayer and words.
I cannot tell you how much this time of growing and learning has hurt almost physically at times, but definitely emotionally.  I have once again been stretched to the point I thought I would break completely only to be released into the arms of my Savior - and all because of a decision I made - in a moment so "small" so long ago - and yet has been so life altering.
So, your choices determine your life - choose well - I am glad I chose Christ.  He has been the best choice I could have ever made for this crazy ride called LIFE.