Here we are, six years later. I sit here, thinking, remembering, and mainly thanking God for his blessings, protection, and favor in your life these past six years.
Because you were so young, you will never fully remember everything that has gone on with you, nor will you ever even have my perspective or that of your dad's or your sisters'. Your life has shaped ours in such profound ways - and I am so very thankful.
Let me tell you the beginning of your story:
In March of 2003 we welcomed you with such open arms and joy in our hearts - a little boy to add to our family - a surprise, but what a wonderful blessing for us all. It was actually Moo that told us first that we would have boy - later we had it confirmed by sonograms, but she never wavered in her three year old mind (personally I believe an angel let her know first and she just shared it with us).
Your dad and I had already been through some rough patches in our marriage and were stronger because of it. He was currently working two jobs to help pay off debt, but little did we understand how much we would need that second job of his in the years to follow - to help care for you.
The girls ate you up from the very beginning - gosh you were such a cute, round, blessing!! You were the first child I had an actual maternity leave with - one with very little pressure -except learning how to care for a boy. You breast fed great, but ate often. You spit up, not unlike your sisters, so that was no big deal to us, but your circumcision was the first issue I had. It grew back and one day after your bath I was drying you off and you were two weeks old (I couldn't drive yet) and your skin tore away where it was starting to grow back. Oh it bled - you cried, I cried - I had no idea what to do - Colleen came over and took me and my crying self and baby to the pediatrician. Oh my stars - it was awful for me - I just knew you would be scarred for life! (literally and figuratively) - but you weren't and the doctor assured me all was well - calmed me down and sent me on my way.
At your three month checkup all was well - I went back to work shortly after - you would not eat cereal of any kind - you still breast fed, but things were okay - We had Stephanie staying with us to take care of you and your sisters because no place had room for you in their daycare yet. She was such a wonderful friend during those first months of your life (so above and beyond the call of duty to live with a postpartum fruitcake, three small children, and help take care of all of us. Did I say "Saint Stephanie"? That is what I meant :D).
So, off I go, back to work - you still breast feeding - we are rocking along. About two or so weeks after Stephanie leaves to go home you start getting sick - really sick. It started with a reaction you had to the stomach medicine they put you on to help with your reflux. You had what I later learned - was an anaphylactic reaction to the compound it was mixed with. Of course God was with you, because all I knew was that you had taken the medicine and thrown up and fallen immediately asleep (all while standing up in your exersaucer- turns out you passed out). I knew enough that you weren't acting right, so I called a friend of mine that is a doctor - she affirmed that yes, you could be allergic to anything at anytime- just to watch you - see the clincher was - you had also been sick - struggling with asthma, too. So - we give the medicine again the next time it was due - you fall asleep and have whelps on your back - but you wake up and are clear - still trouble breathing - but no vomiting. This goes on about three doses - then your dad takes you in to see the pediatrician - he didn't see anything wrong - so we keep going - the next time I gave it I was home with you because your "sickness" had gotten worse - very loose stools, worse spit up, breathing worse - nebbing you all hours of the day and night and still breast feeding (did I say you wouldn't drink formula?) So, this day I am home - and I had given it to you - FINALLY you went to sleep- in your cradle sitting up in your car seat (you were also failure to thrive - at 18 mths you weighed 19 lbs). But, something wasn't right- I heard something - turned down the TV - thought it was you - went to check on you - You were swollen shut! You looked like a baby sumo wrestler - face and neck swollen - hands, everything - eyes swollen shut - the sound I heard was you trying to breathe - again, Tate, I am telling you- angels were guarding you. I called 911 - you went to the hospital.
They didn't admit you, but they did take you off that medication - after I called and researched what it was compounded with - I knew nothing about food allergies - nothing. Boy have I learned. You ended up having a milk allergy that was causing the majority of the issues, but that was not all. You were not growing, progressing, you stayed on steroids because of your lungs, you were literally sick all the time. I worked (at that time) 50 hours a week and still breast fed you - pumped at work and got just enough to put up for the next day's bottle at daycare. You spit up everything we gave you, threw up formulas we tried, and had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea. But, you were such a true JOY!!! Ask anyone. You loved to smile, loved people, were great with strangers, and didn't mind being left in the nursery when we got to go to church. You were such a good baby. Finally we got a referral to the ENT for tubes (because you also maintained ear infections during all of this, but the pediatrician did not feel the need to do allergy testing).
The ENT was fabulous. We still owe him so much. His appointment was a divine appointment set in motion years before by God when we met his father when your oldest sister was a baby, but that is another story. The ENT was all over your case - he began with tubes,and adnoidectomy, talked to us about immune deficiency issues with you, and had your IgE tested - then he did the wonderful and referred you to an allergist.
The allergist was amazed - at this point you were 9 months old - and your back scratch test lit up brighter than a Christmas tree!! You were off the charts on food allergies. Everyone was shocked. We changed pediatricians. You were put on Rice milk - you then became allergic to that - we tried soy - you developed an allergy to that - you literally were getting sicker every day. So, next came GI and pulmonology. All kinds of tests were run - at one year of age - you were still 16 lbs or less - staying on steroids, round the clock nebs, lots of meds - so you had a 24 hour pH probe done. That is when God opened my eyes. I knew you were a wonderful baby - even when sick - yes, you cried, yes, I cried, too some days - mainly from exhaustion - but seriously I didn't realize until that 24 hour stay how blessed I was. Even with Joel working two jobs (can we say stress in the marriage?)- even with you being on a formula that cost $190 a case of six cans (financial stress - insurance didn't cover)- and me working a 50 hour week (parenting stress - feeling like I was neglecting the other two). God blessed us over and over and over - like when we had to take you out of daycare because you were so sick and the doctor said you couldn't be around other kids or crowds for three months, and I had no FMLA left (because it had not been a year since I had had you) and God provided Sandy. I just can't imagine our lives without her influence or the love her family has shown us. She has given us prayer support, physical support, and so much more. Sandy stayed with you and took care of you and all your medications for three months - even though she was scared to death after watching the allergy video of what to do in case of anaphylaxis. Or, how we made it financially from month to month even though it never made sense on paper, despite all the work we were doing.
Tate, the people God continued to place in our lives - to talk with me, listen to me, help me learn, guide me through, pray with me, for you, and for us, has been nothing short of miraculous.
But, back to the pH probe. I was with you at Children's and your dad was with the girls at home. This had been a grueling first year of your life. I was exhausted, but so thankful, and became broken before God that night in the hospital. We met the family next door shortly after you had your tube placed in your nose and down your throat into your stomach. Their baby was exactly your age, same issues - food allergies, reflux, asthma, diarrhea, etc. Only difference was he screamed. He screamed all the time. He took his tube out of his nose and it had to be replaced - still he screamed. The parents were our age, the baby on steroids all the time (he was very bloated because of this), they had family support, but the baby screamed and screamed. The mom told me it was like this for them alot - that she would have to let him stay with her parents some because she couldn't take it, that she lost her job because he was so sick, and that they were having financial problems now. She also told me how her husband had picked up a second job so she didn't see him much, but that made things worse. Still that little boy cried and screamed.
When you went to sleep that night, I fell to my knees in front of that green hospital recliner, cried, asked forgiveness from God for all my anger and frustration I had been harboring toward him, my husband, and anyone else I may not know about because of the situation - I thanked God profusely for you - not just for you, but for your temperament, your love, your joy, your smile. I also thanked God for your sisters and continuing to take care of us by providing for us through people and prayer even when I didn't deserve it. I emptied my soul that night and haven't been the same about your illness since. It was freeing. It is not that life got easier after that night, it is that I realized God was giving me everything I needed to get through things one day at a time if I would just look toward Him and see His gifts - of people, prayers, jobs, food, sleep, tests, doctors, medical care, etc, Oh how I changed that night.
I know God is and will continue to use you in powerful ways, Tate.
I have grown so much in my walk with Christ because of your life here on Earth. I know that you will continue to touch the lives of those around you in powerful ways. I know what your name means (your real name, not your pseudonym), and I know that God is partial to you (like the man on the 700 Club prayer line told Sandy)!
I believe God will completely heal you - in the back of my mind I think this is the year - probably because that first allergist told us that most kids outgrow food allergies by age six - but even if this is not the year - I truly feel it is coming. We all know now we are not just dealing with food allergies where you are concerned - and it took another full year to get a diagnosis and I still remember receiving the phone call from the doctor with the news, but finally - a diagnosis!! This past year they did a clinical trial for a medicine to help kids like you. You got to be a part of the one here thanks again to a fabulous doctor - Dr. Mestre - so who knows, except God - what the future holds for you? But, Tate, if is anywhere near the impact you have had these past six years - WOW!! Go GOD!!
Happy, Happy, SIXTH Birthday my precious baby boy - you are a miracle from God and I treasure the days He continues to give us all with you!
This following list is not complete, but it is a start - hopefully through these past six years I have told you all "thank you" more than once. Without you, Tate would not be here still.
Thank you,
God, my dear, sweet husband, my two wonderful daughters, Dr. Mestre, Dr. Levine, Dr. Hale, Dr. Lytle, Dr. Larussa, Dr. Brasfield, Eagle's Landing church and all its members past, Colleen, Sandy, Dennis, Stephanie, Staci, my mom, dad, sisters, and brother, prayer warriors of Church of the Highlands, Kerry, Gavin, Annie, Lee Ann, my bosses at my former job, Tate's former daycare workers, Melissa, Wendy, and so very many others that I know I am probably leaving out and do not mean to. Thank you, all.
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