Frustration

Have you ever worked on something - poured your heart into it for that day and then lose it? Actually have it disappear - and no amount of searching brings it back.
Okay - that is me today.
Heartfelt and compelling ( I think) post - VANISHED! somehow it edited to only a few words and then went away.
I am choosing not to be frustrated. I know that is easier said than done, but I will not be frustrated.
Just know that God continues to move in me, change my heart, and change my life - I am continuing to choose Him daily and am learning that trusting Him completely with EVERYTHING is exactly what He demands of my life -
I don't want to be that child in the desert roaming because I choose not to listen.
I am thankful for His patience and grace and love for me.
I will today choose to serve Him, trust Him, lean on Him no matter how difficult it may feel at the time - Philippians 4:13 assures me I CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength - He knows I can't do it on my own strength - I am weak and that is exactly when He is strong if I allow it -
But go to the verse before that one - read it - Philippians 4:12.....I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in poverty or wealth.....
I am in the process of being taught that secret.
No matter what - to be content - not to conform to this world - but to continuously be transformed through knowing Him more.
Not to worry about what others may think of me, my appearance, my children or any other worldly measuring point - to be content with what He has for me - right now - because if I am always looking ahead or behind - I miss the now part of life.
Plans are good, but God has the ultimate plan for us - He says so in Jeremiah 29:11- I so love that verse! What a great reminder!
So, as I continue on my journey in life - I am learning that there is nothing more important than my relationship with Christ and what I do with that relationship.
Do I go to Him when upset, happy, mourning, celebrating? Or do I turn to friends or food?
Do I ignore my time with Him to watch TV or sleep later? Do I keep Him all to myself and never tell others about Him? or is it really that I talk about Him, but when others look at me they think it must just be lip service because they see no difference in me?
This is just a revelation I am having about me, my relationship with Christ - what I consider more important than Him and why I will never understand the secret in Philippians 4:12 if I do not better know the Author.
Here I GROW!!! Praise God!